Soundtrack of the Heart
by Killing Me Softly Song Contest
Summary: Two young lovers share a love of music. The years go by, tragedy has made her forget that part of her. Can he use the music that once brought them together to reach her again ?


**KILLING ME SOFTLY WITH HIS SONG" ANONYMOUS O/S CONTEST**

**Title: Soundtrack of the Heart**

**Rating: M **

**Title of Song Used for the Serenade and Artist: 3 Songs (all by Queen) used in the course of the story, Main Song- Show must go on - Queen**

**Word Count: 5418**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. This is an original story copyrighted to me.**

**Summary: Two young lovers share a love of music. The years go by, tragedy has made her forget that part of her. Can he use the music that once brought them together to reach her again ?**

**Soundtrack of the Heart**

The dim glow of the streetlights shone on the wet road bathing the young teens in golden light as they walked home from a concert. She was 16 and lived in a little spec of a town named Forks. He was 17 and an army brat that had lived all over the country, but came home to visit his grandparents every summer. They lived different lives and had different friends, some of hers even became his. But through all the years they'd known each other, the one thing that sparked the intense friendship between them was their mutual love of music. Like him, she lived and breathed music, lugging around a collection of CDs wherever she went. While he preferred rock and roll, her interests had always leaned more toward classical music. He also adored the British Rock Band Queen. He had taught her friends and her to ride a bicycle to the tune of '_I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike'._

A passing car splashed water on them. She jumped away to avoid it and slipped and fell on her knees. As he held out a hand to help her up, he could not but help noticing once again how she had filled out. He had liked her in _that _way for awhile now, but was afraid to cross a line that would jeopardize their friendship. As for her, she had never for a minute imagined that a guy who looked like him would even be remotely interested in her. So they were strictly platonic. Until that moment.

"You really are a fat bottomed girl", he muttered more to himself rather unconsciously.

Appalled, she got up and ran all the way home, crying as he stood bewildered. Later, as she examined herself in the mirror, she told herself it did not matter. She knew he would never be interested in her, but she could not for the life of her imagine he would find her fat. She was skinny, flat-chested and hated her disproportionate bottom. She avoided him for three days while he called and visited. Her parents could not understand why she avoided him.

Finally, unable to put up with the self imposed imprisonment, she took a walk to the meadow near her house. And saw him sitting there listening to his music. As she turned to leave, he spoke.

"I think I know why are upset at me. I don't know if I should be playing you this song because I get into trouble with my parents if I do. I know your Dad would probably shoot me. But, please, listen to this song."

_Are you gonna take me home tonight_

_Ah down beside that red firelight_

_Are you gonna let it all hang out_

_Fat bottomed girls_

_You make the rockin' world go round_

_Hey_

_I was just a skinny lad_

_Never knew no good from bad_

_But I knew love before I left my nursery, huh_

_Left alone with big fat fanny_

_She was such a naughty nanny_

_Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me_

_Hey hey!_

_I've been singing with my band_

_Across the wire across the land_

_I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey_

_But their beauty and their style_

_Went kind of smooth after a while_

_Take me to them dirty ladies every time_

_C'mon_

_Oh wont you take me home tonight?_

_Oh down beside that red firelight_

_Oh and you give it all you got_

_Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round_

_Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round_

_Hey listen here_

_I've got mortgages and homes_

_I got stiffness in my bones_

_Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)_

_Oh but I still get my pleasure_

_Still got my greatest treasure_

_Hey big woman you gonna make a big man of me_

_Now get this_

_Oh (I know) you gonna take me home tonight (please)_

_Oh down beside that red firelight_

_Oh you gonna let it all hang out_

_Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round_

_Yeah_

_Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round_

_Get on your bikes and ride_

_Oooh yeah, alright, them fat bottomed girls_

_Fat bottomed girls_

_Yeah yeah yeah alright, hey, c'mon_

_Fat bottomed girls_

_Yes yes_

As she listened to the rather raunchy lyrics she blushed. She thought he would never like her in the way she wanted. But the lyrics and the way he had called her a "fat bottomed girl" suggested that he already did. As if in answer to her silent question, he placed one finger tip on her chin and raised her face to look up at his. In all the years she had known him, he had always seemed confident, but now she sensed hesitancy and a longing in his eyes. The moment before that first kiss seemed like an eternity. They had both shared kisses with other people, this was nothing new, but something seemed different, magnified. He brushed his lips, feather soft against hers. Just a little taste, and she opened her mouth in invitation. He wanted to devour her, but held back, savoring this moment. There could be many in their future, but there will be only one first kiss. But teen hormones and pent up longing are a great combination to make good intentions disappear fast. He kissed her desperately and she responded eagerly. They lay next to each other cushioned by the wildflowers on the hard meadow floor, exploring, touching and caressing. He filled his palms with her bottom as they made love in the twilight. And every time he listened to that song through the years, he always thought of her.

-0-

It was a gorgeous day with more than a bit of sun peeking through the clouds, an unusual experience for the normally rain-deluged town. It was one of those days that made locals take note and random people, even tourists, smile at each other. But the smartly dressed young woman stepping out of the little Toyota with flowers clutched in her hands did not seem to notice it. She marched solemn faced toward her destination.

Edward watched her from behind a tree as she knelt and tenderly traced her fingers over the name etched on the had been stalking her for two days, watching as she tirelessly gave herself to everyone. He had seen her soothe a fussing little girl, calm a bride in full melt down, and patiently answer the shrill questions of a an overwrought mother of the bride. Once upon a time, she had been a sparkling, effervescent girl that smiled constantly. Now it seemed that if she did smile, it was fake, never quite reaching her eyes. Since he had started following her, he had not heard her laugh. For someone who had known her so well, the changes were heart breaking. He had lost touch with her after that glorious summer they spent as lovers. The death of his grandparents within a few months of each other and other life events conspired to make it happen.

He gasped at the sight of her pencil skirt draping loosely across her backside as she bent to place the flowers. Her beautiful backside that he had loved holding on to as they made love, the one that was evident even in her baggy jeans. He had finally got in touch with mutual friends and had heard the worried stories about stress and grief making her thin almost to the point of emaciation, but he had not truly grasped how much weight she had lost until that moment.

"So this is goodbye for a while," he heard her say. "I'm going to New York tomorrow right after the wedding. I have an audition for Julliard. My dream, what I've been working towards my whole life. Except, I don't know if I have a right to dream or move on, you know? So I don't think I'm going to audition. I think I'll just live in New York for a while. How can I survive an accident like that and you die? Sometimes the weight of the guilt feels like something is physically pressing me down, I can hardly breathe. I don't know why I should be allowed to go on with my life and live my dreams when you never had a chance to realize any of yours. I think of you every day. I miss you so much. Every single time I see Jane's face or do something with her I think it should be you and not me"

Her slight figure shook with the strength of her sobs. She seemed so broken and he wished he could put her back the way she once was. He understood her survivor's guilt and wished he knew how to reach her. As he turned away helplessly, he heard the clear, high notes of her soprano voice ring through the air like birdsong. He stopped surprised that she was actually singing and shocked by her choice of songs. He would have expected her to sing a classical song or, given the setting, a hymn. He smiled at the lyrics realizing that he finally had a way of reaching her.

-0-

The rain had returned with a vengeance. While outside the tops of the trees swayed ominously, inside the enormous house was serene. The blazing fire, pools of golden candle light cast on the formally dressed group, soothing notes of classical music, quiet conversation, and the clink of silver against china made for an elegant atmosphere. It was the rehearsal dinner for Alice Cullen and it reflected her refined taste. The groom-to-be sitting next to her though looked nothing like what someone would assume she would like. With his bolero tie, stetson, and western cut suit and cowboy boots, he looked to be her polar opposite. Despite their different appearances, no one who watched them interact or knew their story doubted how well they suited one another.

Finally, it was time for gifts and speeches and the entire company moved to the comfortable living room for dessert. Alice went first. She looked around the room at all her family and friends and began to speak.

"All of you in this room mean the most in the world to me. One part of me is deliriously happy and the other part is so sad. Nearly two years ago a drunk driver changed our lives in an instant. We would not have made it through a single day without friends like you. You stepped in with meals, ran errands, took care of us, even did laundry. Thank you so much. I will never forget it or any of you."

Alice turned and spoke directly to the skinny young woman across the room, "I never imagined I would ever be married without Rose by my side. It has always been the three of us. I don't know what I would have done without you, Bella. You put your life on hold for me and our family. There is no way I can express what you did for us. Especially for little Jane. But all the same, thank you so much for everything. Including being my wedding coordinator," she said with a smile.

Alice passed a little bag to Bella. It was custom designed replica in 18k rose, yellow and white gold of the friendship bracelets she, Bella and Rose had made for each other as children. Bella and Alice hugged each other, their eyes filling with tears, remembering and missing Rose.

"I suppose I should thank you for bringing my wonderful fiancé into my life, but I will let Jasper do the honors," Alice said to Edward next, with a smile.

Jasper stood to up to speak. In his soft, drawling Texas accent, he thanked everyone for coming and then passed the floor to Edward, his best man.

Edward stood up, pausing to look at the small crowd.

"Usually, the best man toast is reserved for the wedding reception. Jasper has graciously allowed me to do mine now. I don't have any advice, nothing funny to say but I would like to tell a story. I suppose I introduced the bride and groom and I am lucky enough to be friends with both. I've known Alice since I was little and came to Forks to visit my grandparents' house every summer. After Grandpa and Grandma Masen died, I stopped coming and mostly lost touch. Everyone who knows me sort of has to live with one thing: my love for the British band Queen. It completely disgusted Emmett since the only thing he wanted was to play football and I was not exactly athletic. I even taught Rose, Alice and Bella to ride a bicycle to the tune of "Bicycle, Bicycle, I want to ride my bicycle," Edward smiled at Alice as they both remembered those times. He continued with his story in a solemn tone. 'I met Jasper under entirely different circumstances. I'm a third generation marine and went into the Corps immediately after high school. Needless to say, I saw combat. I was injured seriously enough to be airlifted to Ramstein. My injuries were not life threatening, but they were devastating enough that I had long months of physical therapy ahead. It didn't seem fair. There I was, young and healthy one minute and then stuck in a bed the next depending on other people to take care of my most basic needs. I was angry at the world and the situation. Until news reached me that the company I patrolled with regularly was attacked and no one survived. All of them, some younger than me, some older, some of the guys were married, some were young fathers. In that instant, everything did a 180. I was alive and would have a chance of healing completely, but the men I served with would never have that opportunity. I survived because I had been injured. It was sobering. There were days that I could not get up. The guilt that I was still alive was overwhelming. I lost weight, lost the will to survive. I existed, thoughts of suicide plaguing me. Eventually, I was forced into therapy. It was there that I was introduced to Jasper. Cheerful, calm Jasper who made me want to punch him with his soft southern accent and polite ways. The only thing that made him tolerable was that he was a Queen fanatic like me." Jasper laughed and the somber mood in the room was briefly lightened.

Edward continued, "We got to talking. Well Jasper lectured about how I needed to let go and try to move on. Mostly, I ignored him. But I lost it one day. I accused him of having no feelings, told him he didn't know the pain of physical therapy or losing your entire company and having to live with the guilt. He just pulled up his trouser leg and then I saw it. A prosthetic leg. I had seen him walk, even run on the base. I was shocked. He told me his story, that he was the only one of his company to survive an IED. He lost his limb, but he had survived. I asked him how he was able to move on. He drawled, 'well, therapy, patience and Queen.' I laughed. Therapy and patience, I understood. But Queen? He asked me if I knew the story behind the song 'The show must go on'. I had vaguely heard something about Brian May writing the song for Freddy Mercury at the end of his life. But Jasper told me how they were not sure if Freddy could sing the notes as he was days away from his own death, but being who he was Freddy threw back a glass of whiskey and sang it in one take. I understood why when Freddy sang it, the hairs on the back of my hand stood up. I have heard many people sing this song, even Elton John, but the one by Freddy was so much more powerful now that I knew the background."

He stopped and took a sip of water. "During the time when this was happening to Jasper and me, the terrible accident that took Rose happened. I would like to say I was instrumental in bringing Alice and Jasper together. But the truth is they found each other. I never used to believe in soul mates, but if you look at them you can't help believing in that. Alice lost not only Rose, but also her leg like Jasper. When she found me on facebook, she was hurting terribly and in the very place I once was. I hoped Jasper could reach her like he had done with me. He did through patience, love and Queen. His first present to her was an ipod with just 'The show must go on' downloaded. And the rest as they say is history."

Tears streaming down her cheeks, Alice got up and hugged Edward. Then she went and hugged Emmett, her huge bear of a brother who had lost the love of his life.

Edward cleared his throat.

"All of us in this room have been touched by tragedy. We've lost people who died way before their time, before they had time to realize their dreams. It seems so unfair and makes us question why. We cannot go back. Our memories of them have to sustain us. But I don't think any of us would want our friends and family to be stuck forever in one place mourning us. In honor of Alice and Jasper, I want to play the song that brought them together."

Edward walked up to the magnificent grand piano and began to play, his heart thumping.

_Empty spaces - what are we living for?_

_Abandoned places - I guess we know the score._

_On and on!_

_Does anybody know what we are looking for?_

_Another hero - another mindless crime._

_Behind the curtain, in the pantomime._

_Hold the line!_

_Does anybody want to take it anymore?_

_The Show must go on!_

_The Show must go on!Yeah!_

_Inside my heart is breaking,_

_My make-up may be flaking,_

_But my smile, still, stays on!_

_Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance._

_Another heartache - another failed romance._

_On and on..._

_Does anybody know what we are living for?_

_I guess i'm learning_

_I must be warmer now.._

_I'll soon be turning, round the corner now._

_Outside the dawn is breaking,_

_But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!_

_The Show must go on!_

_The Show must go on! Yeah,yeah!_

_Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!_

_My make-up may be flaking..._

_But my smile, still, stays on!_

_Yeah! oh oh oh_

_My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,_

_Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,_

_I can fly, my friends!_

_The Show must go on! Yeah!_

_The Show must go on!_

_I'll face it with a grin!_

_I'm never giving in!_

_On with the show!_

_I'll top the bill!_

_I'll overkill!_

_I have to find the will to carry on!_

_On with the,_

_On with the show!_

_The Show must go on._

As Edward sang and played the only person he had eyes for was Bella. It was the song she sang to Rose at the cemetery. Bella had put her head down as soon as he started singing and bit her lower lip until he was sure it drew blood. At the end of the song as everyone applauded and he saw Bella get up, whisper something to Alice and leave the room. Alice looked at him and shrugged helplessly.

-0-

Edward sat at the gate of the red eye flight out of SeaTac airport to Balitimore and watched the wedding pictures he had snapped on his iphone. While the rehearsal dinner was all Alice, the afternoon wedding reflected Jasper's southern roots. It had a theme of an upscale picnic with barbeque buffet, line dancing and the bride had worn cowboy boots with her short, sassy dress. The Alice Edward had known before would rather be buried alive six feet under than have anything less than a sit down, black tie evening affair. It was funny what love did to a person. His eyes fell on a photo of Bella, Alice's only bridesmaid. He sighed. She had not uttered a single word or even made eye contact since yesterday. He thought he could catch a ride with her to Seattle, but she had disappeared before the end of the wedding. As he sat there contemplating where she had gone, a pair of red converse sneakers came into his view. He looked up.

"Hey," she said. "Mind if I sit here a minute?"

Talk about coincidence. Edward simply moved his backpack in reply and indicated the now empty seat with his hand.

There was an uncomfortable silence when each was waiting for the other the break the silence. Then suddenly both spoke at once.

"I was looking...," he said.

"I think we need...," she said.

They smiled at each other. The ice was broken.

"You go first," Edward offered.

"Look, I know you were spying on me yesterday at the cemetery. I saw you leave. I suspect the little pixie had a hand in it. And I was going to spit nails at you at the rehearsal until your speech. First your story about Freddy and Jasper, then you sang that song. I felt like you were singing to me. Did you know one of the last things Rose, Alice and I shared was singing loudly to the radio just before the accident? We had gone out to celebrate my going away to Julliard. It was the first day Rose was able to go out after Janey was born." She stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. "I had no injuries Edward, not even a scratch. Alice lost a leg and Rose died. She never even had a chance to be a mom to Jane. That's why I cut off music. I felt like I had no right to sing or even listen to it. I only sang to Janey because I knew Rose would have. I don't know if I can go to the audition tomorrow."

He opened his mouth as if say something, but she put her hand up to stop him.

"Before you say anything, yes, I promise to think about it. Jasper gave me the name of a therapist who can recommend someone in New York. I have to figure out my life, Edward, and neither you nor Alice can push me to pursue music, even if you think I'm talented or that it's my dream. I may never want to. But I want to thank you for being a friend who cares enough to push me to become healthy. Just do it without stalking me to cemeteries, ok?"

"So that's the reason I was in the dog house today? The stalking not the song?"

She reached out and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back and covered her's with the other.

They sat like that for a while.

"So what now? I want you to be a part of my life again. If I've learned something in these past few years, it is that life is short," he said.

In answer, she took a slip of paper from her purse on which she had already written her contact details and gave it to him.

"So we are more than facebook friends?" he asked.

"Something like that. For the record, I don't have facebook or even know how to use it," she laughed.

"I'll teach you, Bella," he said with a deceptively innocent tone. "I'll teach you everything you need to know."

She narrowed her eyes.

-0-

Even though it was a cold, wintry Saturday morning outside, the heat generated by the couple inside the small Brooklyn apartment could have fried an egg mid-air. Absence did not just make the heart grow fonder. After three weeks apart, they had virtually inhaled each other since their reunion last night.

"Um,babe, what are you doing down there?" Bella asked.

"Examining the back of your knee…," came the muffled reply.

"I don't think that is the back of my knee though," Bella giggled.

A messier than usual copper head was briefly visible. "Hmmm…," Edward twisted his lips, "I must not be doing this right. You're giggling, instead of moaning and sighing."

"Are moaning and sighing supposed to be signs of ecstasy?"

"I suppose. Let's find out, shall we?" he said with a wicked smile as he dove under the covers once more.

For a long time the only sounds heard were moans and sighs, interrupted by bursts of laughter. Lots and lots of laughter until they drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other.

-0-

Edward felt around for his iphone and squinted at it. The screen lit up to inform him that it was close to 3:00 p.m. He sighed; it was so dark outside it felt like 3:00 a.m. He supposed he should be thankful that his plane had landed in New York yesterday given the weather situation. While technology and social media helped a long distance relationship, nothing came close to personal contact, and after three weeks apart, they were running on fumes. When he thought of the little box in his backpack and his carefully laid plans for this weekend, he mentally shook his fist at the weather gods.

But he was here and she was sprawled over him still sleeping. He hauled her closer to him, relishing the feel of her warm, nude body in his arms, running his hands over her, taking in her scent. The two years with her had been the most amazing of his life. They had helped each other heal and go for their dreams. She had enrolled in Julliard and he he was finishing up classes at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. Something in him had always responded to her from the time they were old enough to feel the first stirrings of interest in another person. He just wished the weather would cooperate so he could do something spectacular as he slipped something sparkly on her finger. Bella moved in her sleep so her breasts were almost level with his lips, her delectable rosy nipples begging to be savored. He bent his head and obliged.

-o-

Edward took one look around the studio apartment as he packed his belongings on Sunday evening for his trip back to Baltimore, valiantly trying to hide his disappointment at the turn of events. When he had first anticipated the weekend, it had been full of excitement on how to propose to his girl. He spent months online and in antique shops looking for the perfect ring. As for the proposal, he had an armada of ideas to pick from. After all, this is the city that never sleeps. A simple bike ride and picnic in Central Park, an elegant dinner at Tavern on the Green or one of the thousands of other restaurants, a helicopter ride at twilight with the city lit up like a magical carpet beneath them, the possibilities seemed endless. Now he would gladly take the cheesy carriage ride he had scoffed at earlier while planning his proposal. He was pretty sure there was going to be only one proposal in their lifetime and he wanted it to be spectacular and romantic, but, sadly, it would have to wait for another time. He had a plane to catch. Somehow he did not think proposing over their delivery dinner of moo goo gai pan and mooshu pork would have been that memorable.

He heard Bella turn the water off and step out of the shower and dry herself. He sat on the bed with a grin on his face, watching her drop her towel with a saucy wink in his direction and blow dry her hair, humming to herself. He saw his imprint all over her, from faint bruises and hickeys like a love struck teenager, even a faint bite mark on her once again robust bottom.

"Leah's and Emmett's baby will be born any day now," he heard her say. "And Alice and Jasper want to set up something the next time you come into town."

He was half listening, but his mind went back to the times spent in this very apartment. How she would barely let him undress her before slipping under the covers and all of the times they made love in the dark because she was so ashamed of how thin she was. How he had shown her through his lips, tongue, fingers, and words how much he desired her, whatever the shape of her body and how grateful he was for second chances, for the chance to hold her in his arms again. He thought of how they had managed to make a relationship work despite distance, of how they had healed each other. He tried to count how many times they had made love in her tiny shower where there was barely room to swing a cat. He decided he could not wait another minute to propose to her and fished out the little box from his backpack

Bella saw a fully dressed Edward kneel at the entrance to the bathroom from the corner of her eye and smiled to herself. Her impromptu strip tease had worked.

"Looks like someone needs a snack for the road," she giggled.

She turned to give him access to her body and stopped short at the box in his hand. She had suspected he would probably propose soon, but when it finally was upon her she was speechless. She watched as he cleared his throat, opened his mouth and then closed it again. When he opened his mouth, the last thing she expected him to do was sing.

_Just one year of love_

_Is better than a lifetime alone_

_One sentimental moment in your arms_

_Is like a shooting star right through my heart_

_It's always a rainy day without you_

_I'm a prisoner of love inside you -_

_I'm falling apart all around you - yeah_

_My heart cries out to your heart_

_I'm lonely but you can save me_

_My hand reaches out for your hand_

_I'm cold but you light the fire in me_

_My lips search for your lips_

_I'm hungry for your touch_

_There's so much left unspoken_

_And all I can do is surrender_

_To the moment just surrender_

_And no one ever told me that love would hurt so much_

_Oooh yes it hurts_

_And pain is so close to pleasure_

_And all I can do is surrender to your love_

_Just surrender to your love_

_Just one year of love_

_Is better than a lifetime alone_

_One sentimental moment in your arms_

_Is like a shooting star right through my heart_

_It's always a rainy day without you_

_I'm a prisoner of love inside you_

_I'm falling apart all around you_

_And all I can do is surrender_

She launched herself into his arms, toppling him, tears in her eyes even before he could formally ask her.

He missed his plane and she ended up with both rug and whisker burns.

-0-

The little Toyota wound its lonely way south on the snowy I-95 with Edward at the wheel, blasting Queen and singing loudly. She said yes. Though none of his plans had panned out, he could not imagine a proposal without his beloved band that had woven a tapestry and acted as a soundtrack through his life and by extension hers, playing a part in it. He looked forward to a lifetime filled with simple pleasures like picnics in a park and bike rides as well as more spectacular things like helicopter rides and scuba diving, maybe even the cheesy carriage ride. As long as he shared it with Bella with a sound track of Queen in the background, he would ask for nothing more.


End file.
